The Butterfly Effect

Surely you've heard of the butterfly effect...

It's the scientific theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small, can change the universe forever.

There was the ad some years back, a butterfly flapping it's wings sets off a chain of events that eventually results in a hurricane a continent and a ocean away.

I've been pondering this fact in my own life for more than a few days now.

Maybe it's because I'm a person who still believes in the magic of ordinary days or because I tend to look at the micro way more than the macro.

But something quite macro has just occurred in my life. Remember Non-Company-I-Work-For-But-Am-Not-Really-One-of-Them, well four (4) days ago, I became One-of-Them! My boss, the indomitable O'Malley managed the previously unthinkable task of turning a little under the radar contractor into a bona fide employee.

At first , inside me were emotions rivalling the Main Street Electrical Light Parade and Fourth of July Fireworks, but as it really began to sink in, and I remembered where I had started from, a strange mix of pensive solemnity and gratitude sobered me.

A little over two years ago, I began my assignment at Non-Company, as an angry, un-employed temp, so broke that I wore my sister in law's cast-off Ann Taylor two-piece to the interview and was sharing the use of a decrepit Toyota Corolla with my father. I hadn't had a car to myself since the George Bush Administration and I was worried that I wouldn't get the job, and worried that if I did, how I was going to manage to get there. The day before I'd interviewed for a high-paying job with a Financial Planning Firm that I really wanted, which would have solved all my problems and I was casual and offhand in the interview with Non-Company.  I'd put everything into the interview with the Financial Planners the day before. I was devastated and angry when told they'd selected another candidate, literally 20 minutes after I got off the phone with the FP firm, Non-Company called and said they wanted me. I called my Mom and like the ungrateful brat that I was, whined and cried telling her that I was going to 'have to take' the job with Non-Company.

So where does the butterfly effect come in...

The car.  My 1997 Mazda Miata.
My sister in law counseled my parents strongly against 'helping' me get a car.  But they saw differently. I guess they still saw something in me, something worthy. Goodness knows, at the time I didn't.

 I still have that Miata and I don't think any other vehicle will ever mean as much to me.  So much changed with that car. In short my whole life. For some reason, the moment I began driving that vehicle, I let go of the past, I let go of the anger. I quit having panic attacks.  For once I was living within my means, being the person that I was, no longer trying to cling to someone else's identity, to their values.

I was able to get to my job, do well, leave at the end of a day and not have to wait for my Dad to come get me in the ramshackle old Toyota. I can't even articulate the relief from stress and worry about transportation. My Dad freed from having to rush across town to pick me up, was able to get to his job and do well.

Some days ago, I found one of my prayer lists from approximately two (2) years ago and some bank statements. As I read this list and looked at the statements, I was so overcome by what I saw that I wept, for God has so specifically met exactly every need I laid out and looking at the statements, I saw tangibly how His hand was upon me. I was  able to see that in times of want, and in times of plenty, He really has been right there with me all the time. When you are in your thirties and down to your last $100.00, you need to KNOW that He is with you.

So many times, I tried to leave Non-Company. I sent out resumes by the dozen. I interviewed. But it seemed like God closed every door. Every time I tried to leave, something or someone would stop me. And it looks like He was right. I think He was smiling at me on Wednesday, when I began my first official day, 'See, I always know best...'

The car led to the job, the job led me to humble myself and work hard, working hard led to notice from O'Malley and O'Malley led me to bona fide employee.

You just never know what effect a seemingly small thing you do for someone else will have on their life.  Don't miss the opportunity..

The Butterfly Effect....