Today I'm not so much thinking about the clash of generations or generational differences but of my own personal losses.
Time does indeed make fools of us all. Thanks to social media like Facebook, Twitter, etc we get to relive those regrets on a daily basis in some cases.
Facebook I've decided, can on any given day, be both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing in that it keeps me up to date on the people that I truly care about. In an instant, I know that my sister/aunt/friend had a 'Super time at Walt Disney World' or at least as good a time as one can have paying $8.00 for a Coke after dropping (according to my most recent stats) $90.53 (can that be right!??) a head to be hurled through the air, plummeted, turned sideways, jolted, and just plain scared out of their wits on rides that make you wish you were dead! But at least, thanks to Facebook, I know that they at least loved/liked/survived the experience. Also, when next month they are 'worried about making the mortgage', I for one, know why!
No one can doubt the truly all-encompassing changes that social media has wrought on our lives. For once, I have the upper hand over my mother when we gently gossip about the family and what's going on in so-and-so's life. I've been there, seen the pictures, and bought the t-shirt. I'm able to correct her and say that "Actually Aunt Louisa and Uncle Ted are not going to Las Vegas for their vacation, they've decided to go to Branson instead!"
On the other hand though, the dark little secret of Facebook is that once you've delved in, you are sucked into a vortex that inevitably leads you back to your past. 'Friending' this person leads to that friend who leads to this friend and so forth...you get the idea. Some friends it leads you to are just as you remember them and their life has taken a pretty predictable path, some you look at and go, "Wow, next to this guy/that girl, my life looks pretty great!"
But then, you look at the really close friends and you wonder, 'should I have taken a different path?'
When you are a 30-something X'er, looking at your other 30-something X'ers, sometimes you sit back and catch your breath and think back to the simpler times. Before they had kids, and dance lessons and soccer games to go to. When you were a real person to them, not just a name on their speed dial or Facebook Friends' list. You look at the photos of their weddings, their kids as infants, Christmases, Easter, the trip to that amusement park, that field trip and realise that the pics of you dancing with your colleagues at the office Christmas Party after you've had a little too much wine seem a bit hollow in comparison. A little too 'Bridget Jones' for comfort.
Granted, sometimes these maudlin reflections are the result of a few too many hours listening to "Now That's What I Call the 80's" Volume(s) I, II, III, too many awkward dates, too many failed relationships. Nights where you sit and reflect on 'the one who got away'. And Facebook is there to remind you of that as well. You see the one(s) who got away. Sometimes you even 'friend' them. The exquisite torture of seeing them and their spouse, children and how 'happy they are at Disney World'.
Then there is always the 'one', the incomparable, who you sit back and voyueristically marvel at, and wonder how you let someone as fantastically talented, humane, decent, moral and kind just slip through your fingers.
Yes, even in your worst hour, Facebook is there for you.
And yet... in the space of a few hours, I'm sure I'll log in again for just a little more torment...
I've done the "should I have taken a different path" thing. It's probably pointless, but hard to avoid nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteSpent some time in the past myself recently. Not because of Facebook, but a dream one night led me to Google someone and I came across their blog. It's amazing how a few years ago can seem like only yesterday.
Never been to Branson, but I hear it's lovely this time of year :)